When you use RTFM, you’re saying, “Not only am I not going to help you, but I also want to make sure that you feel ashamed about your inability to help yourself.”

If we want to create more effective teams and a more inclusive tech industry, we need to retire RTFM and the associated sentiment from our culture.

“She just doesn’t seem technical enough.”

“We need someone a little more technical.”

“The guy who mentored me at my last company always made me feel bad when I made a mistake. I don’t want to do that to someone else.”

Coding is stressful. Self-compassion is a great technique for managing difficult emotions that provides health benefits, improved relationships, and a better mindset for problem-solving.

When executed properly, the agile retrospective is the perfect combination of gratitude and a growth mindset, which are two key contributors to happiness and fulfillment.